Losing the Draws

For some strange reason, men have come to believe that they enjoy sex more than women do.They’ve led themselves to think that we do it just to please them.Men, you’re wrong a comedian whose identity escapes me once urged men to ma*sage the inside of their ear with their finger and let him know which feels better: the ear or the finger.We wanna do it!We really, really do!!Women (without issues)* enjoy the act of sexual intercourse, when done properly, just as much as men do. As a matter of fact, well before we even have our first conversation with you, a woman may have already determined whether she’s gonna give it up or not. Some men get the go ahead upon first glance.Others need a little more time.Far too many men have f**ked it all up by simply opening their mouths.Others do dumb shit they refuse to believe is dumb.I’ve decided to help everyone out, to keep you silly boys from losing the draws.

1.Shut the f**k up!!!
Here’s a list of things to avoid saying:

• Sorry it took me so long.I had bubble guts.
• Why don’t I take you to a hotel to wait for me while I go work out?
• I’ll eat your pu**y better than anyone ever has.
• I’m surprised you even own a shovel.**

Ask yourself, «Would I want a man saying this to my mother.»

2.If you run into someone you know, pretend your date exists.You don’t need to add a title in the introduction, it’s obvious you’re on a date.«*Other person* this is *potential poonany*» is sufficient.

3.Be a damn man.Everyone wants an independent woman, but dammit if you ask ME out, be prepared to pay.Also, hold open the door, walk on the street side, and help me put on my coat.Chivalry is dead because trifling mofos killed it.

4.Valet the damn car.If there isn’t a parking spot within one block, the weather is extreme (hot, cold, rain) or your date has on 4в